You can't stop thinking about them. That has a name.

Limerence is an obsessive attention loop — not love, not weakness. Take the 4-minute private assessment to map your pattern.

Start the free assessment

Private. No account needed to start. About 4 minutes.

If any of these sound familiar

Limerence is specific. It usually shows up as a set of behaviours that feel involuntary and out of proportion. Recognise yourself in even three of these and the assessment is worth running.

You re-read old messages from them before you sleep.
You rehearse imaginary conversations with them while doing other things.
You check their socials more often than you want to admit.
You draft messages you do not send — or send, then regret.
You replay a single past interaction in detail, looking for hidden meaning.
When you wake up at night, they are your first thought.
You quietly arrange your day so you might run into them.
You feel a high when you think of them, then a crash afterwards.

What is limerence?

Limerence is an involuntary, intrusive preoccupation with a specific person who is unavailable, ambiguous, or already gone. It is marked by idealisation, hope-and-despair cycles, and an urge to seek contact or reassurance. It is not love, not a crush, and not a moral failing. Naming it accurately is the first step in working with it. (The term was coined by Dorothy Tennov in 1979 and is widely discussed in non-clinical literature; it is not a DSM-5 diagnosis.)

Love vs limerence
Love vs limerence	Love	Limerence
Attention	Settles into the rest of life.	Hijacks the rest of life.
View of the other person	Sees them, including the flaws.	Idealises a version you have written.
Mood	Stable warmth, occasional friction.	Hope-spike followed by crash.
Effort	Reciprocal, paced, chosen.	One-sided, intrusive, urgent.
Time horizon	Grows over months and years.	Feels like everything inside a week.

What the assessment gives you

About four minutes of questions, then a profile you can keep. The output is a map of your specific pattern, not a generic article. Your free profile shows the archetype, the top triggers we picked up from your answers, and one technique you can use today.

Name the pattern.
See the triggers.
Get the first interrupt.

How it works

Three steps. The first two are free. The recovery path is the paid piece, and it is shown after the assessment, not before.

01
Answer about 20 questions.
Neutral, behavioural prompts. One question per screen. You can stop and resume — your draft is saved on this device.
02
Get your limerence profile.
An archetype, a severity tier, a trigger map extracted from your answers, and a first interrupt you can use today.
03
Follow the daily interrupt-and-reclaim plan.
A structured 30-day plan tuned to your archetype, with short guided sessions for the hard moments.

What the questions look like

The assessment is substantive, not a horoscope. A representative item and a redacted snippet from a real profile:

Sample questions

In the past week, how many hours per day were they on your mind? (0–1, 1–3, 3–6, 6+)
After a high-thought episode, what comes next? (shame, despair, relief, motivation, nothing, I crash)

Sample profile snippet

Archetype: The Hopeful Holdout (Moderate). Top triggers: Sunday evenings, Instagram before bed, the song that played in the car. What it is doing for you: keeping a future open that the present cannot give you. First interrupt: a five-minute reality-calibration script for the next time the hope spike lands.

What this is not

Naming the boundary up front, because it sharpens what the product actually does.

Not therapy. We are not a substitute for a licensed clinician.
Not a diagnosis. Limerence is not in the DSM, and we do not treat it like one.
Not a way to get them back. No scripts, no playbooks, no manifestation.
Not a community. There is no feed, no group chat, and no public profile.
Not a crisis service. If you are in immediate danger to yourself or others, please use the resources in the safety strip below.

The recovery path

The assessment and your first interrupt are free. The 30-day plan, the session library, progress tracking, and the relapse-recovery flow are paid. Pricing is shown after your profile, so it lands in context.

Pricing is shown after the assessment, not before.

Private by default. Safe by design.

We address shame with structure: no social features, no email gate before the assessment, and crisis resources one tap away on every screen.

No account needed to start the assessment.
Free-text answers are not sent to analytics.
Region-aware crisis resources available at every step.
Not a substitute for therapy or medical care.

Common questions

Is limerence the same as love?: No. Love settles into the rest of your life; limerence hijacks it. Love sees the person, including the flaws; limerence idealises a version you have written. Love grows over months and years; limerence can feel like everything inside a week.
Can limerence go away on its own?: Sometimes, yes — especially when contact ends fully and the trigger landscape changes. Often it does not, because the loop becomes self-sustaining. The assessment helps you see which version you are running.
Is limerence a form of OCD?: Limerence is not a clinical diagnosis. It shares features with obsessive-compulsive patterns — intrusive thoughts, reassurance-seeking, ritualised checking — but treating it as OCD without a clinician is a leap. If your pattern looks ROCD-shaped, our profile will say so and point you to that lane.
How long does limerence usually last?: Reports vary widely, from weeks to several years. Duration is heavily shaped by contact pattern, what the limerence is doing for you, and whether you are actively working on it. The assessment estimates where your specific case sits.
Can an AI tool really help with limerence?: It can do the parts the loop is bad at: assess the pattern dispassionately, name the triggers, run a structured interrupt when you are about to check, and track relapses without judgement. It cannot replace a therapist for trauma, depression, or crisis.
Will anyone see my answers?: No. The assessment is anonymous by default. We do not require an email to start, and free-text answers are excluded from analytics. You can export or delete your data at any time.
Is this therapy?: No. Limerence Coach is a self-help and education tool. It is not therapy, not a medical device, not a diagnostic service, and not a crisis line. If you need clinical care, please seek a licensed professional.
Can I use this if I am still in contact with them?: Yes. The assessment branches on whether you are in contact and what that contact looks like. The plan is calibrated accordingly. You do not have to commit to no-contact to start.
What if I am in another relationship?: We ask about your relationship status and adapt the language. The product does not advise you to leave or stay. It helps you understand what the limerence is doing for you, and gives you tools to work with the pattern rather than act on it.
Do you offer refunds?: Yes. There is a seven-day no-questions refund window on the paid plan. Cancellation is one click in your account, with no retention friction.

Map the pattern. Interrupt the loop. Get your attention back.

Start the free assessment

Private. No account needed to start. About 4 minutes.

You can't stop thinking about them. That has a name.

Answer about 20 questions.

Get your limerence profile.

Follow the daily interrupt-and-reclaim plan.

Map the pattern. Interrupt the loop. Get your attention back.